[The way Shoto looks at Katsuki with those love filled eyes has the vampire's heart feel tight. Squeezed like he's hugging him from the inside out. It has him wanting to kiss him, and hold him as close as he possibly can. Keep him safe and protected in his arms, away from anything and anyone else that would dare touch a hair on his precious head.
Of course, he keeps that overwhelming feeling in as to not ruin the mood. Keeping himself still, and listening as his boyfriend tries his best to find the words to respond. His warm smile widens further when he's told that Shoto likes hearing him say his name. Feeling both proud and excited, now that he's "allowed" to call him Shoto. Quietly hoping to hear the older boy say "Katsuki". Hoping he feels as though the gate's been opened, now.
When the older boy lightly runs his hand down his metal arm, and asks if Katsuki is able to feel it or not, it has the blonde blush a little more and nod. Not expecting the attention paid to his prosthetic limb, finding himself still a little shy about it and it's newness.]
Sort of. I can't feel it like I would if it was against skin, but I feel the pressure and the weight of your hand.
[Tugging a little against what's left of his arm, but not in a painful way. In... a nice way. It still feels "there", in a sense.]
I can tell that it's being touched. And it doesn't hurt, if you're worried about that.
[It's healed up quite nicely, thankfully. Fully prepared for any punching, pulling, carrying, pushing... anything that needs to be done.]
So, y'know... you can be as, uh... a-as rough as you want with me.
[Inwardly, Katsuki swears at himself for stuttering over his words as he attempts to flirt with Shoto a little bit. Embarrassed that he's embarrassed, instead of able to say it with a straight face.
He wants to try and be romantic, though. Try and take the lead and pretend like he knows exactly what he's doing, even though he... really doesn't when it comes to romance... at least he knows Shoto's in more or less the same boat as him, and that he's safe to mess up and be embarrassing around him.]
[Idle touches shift into something more solid, and he tries to impress that his prosthetic's nature makes no difference, twists a little to button slow, shy kisses along the would-be muscle mimicked by his false limb's mechanics. Asking with eyes if his own clumsy, stupid attempts won't be met with the irritation he's used to. "Is this right?" or "what's too much?" He shuts his eyes, only to lose the warm, blurred distinction between nerve-stitched metal and flesh. Now half-listening as he mouths soft affection across a steel-cold bicep, hardly rough where he's missed the words in favor of leaving attention on fingertips; holding his wrist in place to sit his cheek against a palm, watching him starstruck when he blinks up into a dizzy, dim awareness.
The flirting's over his head...]
And your heart?
[The little kisses wander the small, stitched scar-crescent resting beneath an eyelid; cheek, cheek, then cheek again, before he dips his flushed face to press their brows together. Thumbs to cheekbones, cradles his jaws as he takes his face into his own shaking hands. Katsuki's not fragile, but he feels the damaged pulse at their close proximity, and he drops his fingers to bracket his waist as his own dips forward. All unthinking, and he keeps him steady as he clutches his hands into the fabric. To bring him close.]
Is "rough" safe, you think?
[More touches, then. Chin, jaw, left earlobe. He kisses there too.]
[Katsuki honestly hadn't expected to enjoy or really "feel" this kind of attention on his prosthetic arm... at least not in a way that would tug at his heart like this. He meets those shy eyes not with irritation or anger, but with bashful ones of his own and he finds himself having a hard time keeping a straight face. It's just so sweet, the way Shoto pays his metal limb the same attention he would if it were flesh. How he makes a point not to shy away from it, but to kiss it so softly...
"Ah... I'm not surviving the night." is something that crosses Katsuki's mind. As he's looked at with a dizzy stare, and can feel his heart starting to quicken in his chest.
Speaking, of...]
M-my heart's fine. It's more stubborn than I am, at this point.
[Technically it shouldn't even be beating, these days. He can live without it pumping the blood through his veins, but it does all the same. Stubborn and refusing to give up, after surviving so much damage. Even now it beats so loudly-- so fast that it's almost like he's alive again. He can feel the blood rushing to his head as Shoto kisses along the stitch-shaped scar on his cheek, and then rush again as fingers grasp at his waist and their hips meet gently together. Shoto holding him as close as can be with two shaking arms.
It has the blonde feeling overwhelmed yet excited all the same, and it takes a moment for him to find more words to speak. His own body slightly trembling under the older boy's fingertips.]
And.. a-and rough is....
[Katsuki trails off as Shoto peppers kiss along his chin, his jaw, his ear... there used to be so many words floating around in his mind, an overthinker who thought about everything but right now as he's paid all this affectionate attention it feels as though his mind was melting. His face was so warm, and he has to close his eyes for a moment just to try and wrangle his thoughts together some more.]
...r-rough is okay. If you ain't stupid about it, it ain't risky.
[The discussion of "rough" and "risky" is almost too much for Katsuki to handle, and the blonde finds himself fidgeting a little in Shoto's lap. He could feel his body starting to get a little "excited", and it's a bit uncomfortable. He wonders, quietly to himself, why he thought it was a good idea to wear jeans instead of something loose...]
But if you wanna be careful instead... I-I, uh.. d-don't mind.
[As long as it's with Shoto, he'll be happy with anything they do. Any pace, any position, any roughness or gentleness. Whatever the other boy wants, Katsuki also wants.]
The boy dips his face, keeps an ear to his chest as if listening for the evidence; then, proof of life as battered, still-beating heart speaks back in a heartbeat. Thump thump thump. This makes two in sync when its rushing quickly meets Shoto's, a very small nod once Katsuki explains his worries away. His ears burn pink, and he tries to keep pressed to him for sake of being this close. Feeling hesitant over pushing things further now, but... his pulse skips, and his brows knit with his quiet attempts to process, to understand that it's Katsuki that's somehow sparked his excitement.
Still holding back.]
Maybe mine's the one to worry about...
[And once again, his picking up pace to match the sound of the other's, sparked by his voice when he cups his face with shaking hands of his own, pressed thumbs smoothed to cheekbone's pink in response to the warmth of it. "I'm here, I've got you". He's stuck on "rough" like it might call violence into something this soft, worries because he's bigger, taller, three months older than the boy in his lap, each touch further than either one has led with before. He sighs a muffled sound as he breathes against his shoulder, dips his face into the slide of his throat, mouths his jaw before pulling away with painfully slow, shy movements, salt-sweet sticking.]
I didn't think I'd still be shaking like this-
[Because he's restless, because he's embarrassed that Katsuki can still hear his heartbeat. Pulse, bloodstream, anxious nerves when he grips his waist with weak, small confidence; without examples of what to do, how close to pull without his fear of bruising the other. He can't help his thoughts, his small reminders peeking back into existence; a million others where they fight to be first of them. There's still the flinch when his eyes slip shut, recall his half-emptied room, a loveless marriage held together stuck with power and threats, false love in a house of real violence, and he's tensed with a constant, terrified worry he's incapable of the softness his hands won't translate. Careful fingers, cautious touch.
He wants to tell him, to start to tell him everything his mind's built up. "Sorry, it's clumsy; sorry, I like you more than anything else; sorry, I don't have words for this, yet". Male, female; no one else, no one close to what Katsuki sparks inside at this very moment; and he is desperate to connect with the heart he didn't grow up with, his open want when he grinds up softly to meet the blond like this, to brush their hips together.]
I've never really liked anyone else, before...
[A second worry when he threads loose fingers through a spiked nape of peach-fuzz. Open, honest.]
You're special, to me.
[Very simply.]
Edited (my terrible math skills...) 2026-04-29 22:19 (UTC)
[Katsuki can hear everything, indeed. That anxious heartbeat, the blood rushing to pinken that pretty face whenever he's shy. His own quickening pace as fast as it can, when Shoto presses his head against chest to listen. Telling on Katsuki-- letting the other know just how much he loves him despite how much he tries to keep a serious expression.
His touch is so gentle and cautious, bodies both shaking thanks to nerves and adrenaline keeping them from being still. Katsuki's pout melts into a soft smile when his face is held so softly in Shoto's hands. When he drops to breathe lightly into the vampire's shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. He feels his body tense a little when the older boy trails up to kiss his jaw, and then the tenseness releases as a sigh trembles out of his mouth. This kind of attention was so foreign and new to him that a part of it sets off the part of his brain that says "NO" whenever someone enters his bubble. But then it also sets off the other part of his brain, which is.... well.
It's so starved from this kind of touch and wants more, more, and more---
It's almost overwhelming being caught between such extremes. But Shoto makes it so easy to let the "want" win. Every time he looks into those eyes and sees just how much the other boy truly loved him, he just wants to be as close as he can to the other. Wants to kiss him over and over, and everywhere he can. Right now is no exception, and Shoto seems to understand as he gently grinds up against Katsuki. Their hips rubbing together in a way that takes his breath away.
He almost misses everything said, but how could he really? Being called "special" is something that takes Katsuki back just a little. Lips pursing as he thinks about all the times his mother would try to beat it into him that he wasn't special at all. Trying to beat down an inflating ego from peers and teachers praising his every move, but using the wrong words to do so. Giving him an insecurity that's stuck with him, still.
Both of them seem to have issues with love from broken homes. But Katsuki is more than happy to experience these new feelings together. To explore together.]
...I'm special?
[Katsuki asks that quietly, while his boyfriend's hands wander to the nape of his neck. His own slip down to grasp at Shoto's waist. Holding him there as he very nervously rolls his back against him, as if to answer that curious grind.]
Even though there's those other "me"s before me?
[He always felt a little insecure about the fact that there's other Bakugo Katsukis out there. Feeling this weird urge to be the "best" one. The "real" one. He's wondered, lightly, unhealthily, if Shoto's ever had any feelings at all for the other versions he's met. If there's Katsukis that he likes more than him.
[How many lives has he lived to find this specific love? He half recalls "Katsuki" as he was on Avalon; a dirt path leading up to a painted-white door, that same door opening into a room, Izuku's face beaming up to invite him inside. Their house, their partnership established long before he'd entered their frame; without him. Izuku's... Katsuki's. This was 5 years ago, and there'd been no name for the something that'd crumpled up inside him. How it'd been too late for his feelings to move into anything else; and then, those same friends, disappearing silently back into their own lost times. Again, and again, and again. How long had he'd carried himself confused, crushed, quietly devasted back to Hijikata? Without a word yet for the searing, pinching, aching feeling his heart first experienced?
The stranger-friend, looking in on the something he'd always believed unattainable.
Watching hurt. It'd always hurt. And how does he, who tries to keep buried so many things to not trouble others, explain how deeply he felt his initial loss of the blond? His first self, his second self; his third, his fourth...? His only constant being a rough, world-weary swordsman trying to keep him intact. He's tucked too much into the backs of his thoughts; keeps his feelings in places he always hopes to forget.
Friends, a family, all lost potentials in the things left behind, hopelessly hoping his life would be different "next time around". Katsuki Two, distraction from One; Izuku Fourth from the Third. Trailing Katsuki. Sparring with Katsuki. Katsuki, physically, reigniting the flames he'd thought he'd lost to their magics, the first he'd met in a sea of an unfamiliar new. And there, the better part of his first two years whittled trying to be close; to pull friendship from one whose interests centered entirely on another.
He doesn't mean to, but the kiss that follows isn't nearly as chaste as he wants it, as Shoto's trying to be.]
You're the first one that's looked at me-
[The boy-weapon outsider. He feels restless over how Katsuki looks at him, how no one's ever.
3 lives built-up when his fingers shake, and he peeks up brightly with a nameless feeling, tugging his shirt up.]
Like it mattered. [Then, as if he's said nothing-] Can I touch you...?
[His Katsuki. His own unique, special, irreplaceably in his timeline so full of others. He's never said it, wasn't allowed to say it when they'd stood at their arms-length before, but... the name slips out despite all the breath he's held. Softly, quietly.]
[This is it. This is the day Katsuki finally dies.
It's honestly incredible how fast Katsuki's heart was beating when it barely beats at all to begin with. How burning hot his entire body felt when it had long gone cold. How suffocating every second was when he didn't even need to breathe anymore. He truly felt alive, more now than he'd felt in nearly a year, and it was an intoxicating feeling he feared he was going to get addicted to.
He can't guess what's behind those pretty eyes, or imagine the years Shoto's been without him. Without "his" Katsuki. Years spent pining for something closer but unable to find a way to connect until recent. He's... so grateful that all that waiting brought them to each other like this. That Shoto was able to open his heart up to him after redoing this friendship countless times. Things happen for a reason, and everything up until this point brought these two together like this.
Close enough to kiss each other with passion. Enough to pull each other's clothes. Enough to say first names without any fear and to tell each other sweet things while no one's looking. It all is nearly too much for the blonde who had to fight for any kind of affection back home. Who was shamed by his mother whenever he cried and was scared. Who easily followed hugs up with harsh hits, and who would scream the name "Katsuki" so frequently that the boy began to hate hearing it.
It's the opposite when Shoto says it, though. There's no recoiling, no disgust or fear attached when he hears his name. No anger at it being used to tease or bother him. All he feels is overwhelming love for the other boy when he's told that he's the only one who looks at Shoto this way. That he makes him feel like he really meant something to someone. And when the older, bigger boy asks if he can touch the blonde the first thing that comes to his mind is "Please."
Of course he can't be that desperate, though. So, with a shaky grin and a mischievous glint in his glowing eyes, the vampire eagerly gives the lich permission.]
Like you need to even ask. Dork.
[His tone is sweet despite the teasing, and he leans back just a little.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you mean this absolutely wonderful tag!!!!!!
Of course, he keeps that overwhelming feeling in as to not ruin the mood. Keeping himself still, and listening as his boyfriend tries his best to find the words to respond. His warm smile widens further when he's told that Shoto likes hearing him say his name. Feeling both proud and excited, now that he's "allowed" to call him Shoto. Quietly hoping to hear the older boy say "Katsuki". Hoping he feels as though the gate's been opened, now.
When the older boy lightly runs his hand down his metal arm, and asks if Katsuki is able to feel it or not, it has the blonde blush a little more and nod. Not expecting the attention paid to his prosthetic limb, finding himself still a little shy about it and it's newness.]
Sort of. I can't feel it like I would if it was against skin, but I feel the pressure and the weight of your hand.
[Tugging a little against what's left of his arm, but not in a painful way. In... a nice way. It still feels "there", in a sense.]
I can tell that it's being touched. And it doesn't hurt, if you're worried about that.
[It's healed up quite nicely, thankfully. Fully prepared for any punching, pulling, carrying, pushing... anything that needs to be done.]
So, y'know... you can be as, uh... a-as rough as you want with me.
[Inwardly, Katsuki swears at himself for stuttering over his words as he attempts to flirt with Shoto a little bit. Embarrassed that he's embarrassed, instead of able to say it with a straight face.
He wants to try and be romantic, though. Try and take the lead and pretend like he knows exactly what he's doing, even though he... really doesn't when it comes to romance... at least he knows Shoto's in more or less the same boat as him, and that he's safe to mess up and be embarrassing around him.]
I'll do my best to earn the praise!
The flirting's over his head...]
And your heart?
[The little kisses wander the small, stitched scar-crescent resting beneath an eyelid; cheek, cheek, then cheek again, before he dips his flushed face to press their brows together. Thumbs to cheekbones, cradles his jaws as he takes his face into his own shaking hands. Katsuki's not fragile, but he feels the damaged pulse at their close proximity, and he drops his fingers to bracket his waist as his own dips forward. All unthinking, and he keeps him steady as he clutches his hands into the fabric. To bring him close.]
Is "rough" safe, you think?
[More touches, then. Chin, jaw, left earlobe. He kisses there too.]
That's kind of...
[Too much! Embarrassing!]
Risky, isn't it?
💕
"Ah... I'm not surviving the night." is something that crosses Katsuki's mind. As he's looked at with a dizzy stare, and can feel his heart starting to quicken in his chest.
Speaking, of...]
M-my heart's fine. It's more stubborn than I am, at this point.
[Technically it shouldn't even be beating, these days. He can live without it pumping the blood through his veins, but it does all the same. Stubborn and refusing to give up, after surviving so much damage. Even now it beats so loudly-- so fast that it's almost like he's alive again. He can feel the blood rushing to his head as Shoto kisses along the stitch-shaped scar on his cheek, and then rush again as fingers grasp at his waist and their hips meet gently together. Shoto holding him as close as can be with two shaking arms.
It has the blonde feeling overwhelmed yet excited all the same, and it takes a moment for him to find more words to speak. His own body slightly trembling under the older boy's fingertips.]
And.. a-and rough is....
[Katsuki trails off as Shoto peppers kiss along his chin, his jaw, his ear... there used to be so many words floating around in his mind, an overthinker who thought about everything but right now as he's paid all this affectionate attention it feels as though his mind was melting. His face was so warm, and he has to close his eyes for a moment just to try and wrangle his thoughts together some more.]
...r-rough is okay. If you ain't stupid about it, it ain't risky.
[The discussion of "rough" and "risky" is almost too much for Katsuki to handle, and the blonde finds himself fidgeting a little in Shoto's lap. He could feel his body starting to get a little "excited", and it's a bit uncomfortable. He wonders, quietly to himself, why he thought it was a good idea to wear jeans instead of something loose...]
But if you wanna be careful instead... I-I, uh.. d-don't mind.
[As long as it's with Shoto, he'll be happy with anything they do. Any pace, any position, any roughness or gentleness. Whatever the other boy wants, Katsuki also wants.]
no subject
The boy dips his face, keeps an ear to his chest as if listening for the evidence; then, proof of life as battered, still-beating heart speaks back in a heartbeat. Thump thump thump. This makes two in sync when its rushing quickly meets Shoto's, a very small nod once Katsuki explains his worries away. His ears burn pink, and he tries to keep pressed to him for sake of being this close. Feeling hesitant over pushing things further now, but... his pulse skips, and his brows knit with his quiet attempts to process, to understand that it's Katsuki that's somehow sparked his excitement.
Still holding back.]
Maybe mine's the one to worry about...
[And once again, his picking up pace to match the sound of the other's, sparked by his voice when he cups his face with shaking hands of his own, pressed thumbs smoothed to cheekbone's pink in response to the warmth of it. "I'm here, I've got you". He's stuck on "rough" like it might call violence into something this soft, worries because he's bigger, taller, three months older than the boy in his lap, each touch further than either one has led with before. He sighs a muffled sound as he breathes against his shoulder, dips his face into the slide of his throat, mouths his jaw before pulling away with painfully slow, shy movements, salt-sweet sticking.]
I didn't think I'd still be shaking like this-
[Because he's restless, because he's embarrassed that Katsuki can still hear his heartbeat. Pulse, bloodstream, anxious nerves when he grips his waist with weak, small confidence; without examples of what to do, how close to pull without his fear of bruising the other. He can't help his thoughts, his small reminders peeking back into existence; a million others where they fight to be first of them. There's still the flinch when his eyes slip shut, recall his half-emptied room, a loveless marriage held together stuck with power and threats, false love in a house of real violence, and he's tensed with a constant, terrified worry he's incapable of the softness his hands won't translate. Careful fingers, cautious touch.
He wants to tell him, to start to tell him everything his mind's built up. "Sorry, it's clumsy; sorry, I like you more than anything else; sorry, I don't have words for this, yet". Male, female; no one else, no one close to what Katsuki sparks inside at this very moment; and he is desperate to connect with the heart he didn't grow up with, his open want when he grinds up softly to meet the blond like this, to brush their hips together.]
I've never really liked anyone else, before...
[A second worry when he threads loose fingers through a spiked nape of peach-fuzz. Open, honest.]
You're special, to me.
[Very simply.]
no subject
His touch is so gentle and cautious, bodies both shaking thanks to nerves and adrenaline keeping them from being still. Katsuki's pout melts into a soft smile when his face is held so softly in Shoto's hands. When he drops to breathe lightly into the vampire's shoulder, right in the crook of his neck. He feels his body tense a little when the older boy trails up to kiss his jaw, and then the tenseness releases as a sigh trembles out of his mouth. This kind of attention was so foreign and new to him that a part of it sets off the part of his brain that says "NO" whenever someone enters his bubble. But then it also sets off the other part of his brain, which is.... well.
It's so starved from this kind of touch and wants more, more, and more---
It's almost overwhelming being caught between such extremes. But Shoto makes it so easy to let the "want" win. Every time he looks into those eyes and sees just how much the other boy truly loved him, he just wants to be as close as he can to the other. Wants to kiss him over and over, and everywhere he can. Right now is no exception, and Shoto seems to understand as he gently grinds up against Katsuki. Their hips rubbing together in a way that takes his breath away.
He almost misses everything said, but how could he really? Being called "special" is something that takes Katsuki back just a little. Lips pursing as he thinks about all the times his mother would try to beat it into him that he wasn't special at all. Trying to beat down an inflating ego from peers and teachers praising his every move, but using the wrong words to do so. Giving him an insecurity that's stuck with him, still.
Both of them seem to have issues with love from broken homes. But Katsuki is more than happy to experience these new feelings together. To explore together.]
...I'm special?
[Katsuki asks that quietly, while his boyfriend's hands wander to the nape of his neck. His own slip down to grasp at Shoto's waist. Holding him there as he very nervously rolls his back against him, as if to answer that curious grind.]
Even though there's those other "me"s before me?
[He always felt a little insecure about the fact that there's other Bakugo Katsukis out there. Feeling this weird urge to be the "best" one. The "real" one. He's wondered, lightly, unhealthily, if Shoto's ever had any feelings at all for the other versions he's met. If there's Katsukis that he likes more than him.
Even if it's something so silly to worry over...]
no subject
The stranger-friend, looking in on the something he'd always believed unattainable.
Watching hurt. It'd always hurt. And how does he, who tries to keep buried so many things to not trouble others, explain how deeply he felt his initial loss of the blond? His first self, his second self; his third, his fourth...? His only constant being a rough, world-weary swordsman trying to keep him intact. He's tucked too much into the backs of his thoughts; keeps his feelings in places he always hopes to forget.
Friends, a family, all lost potentials in the things left behind, hopelessly hoping his life would be different "next time around". Katsuki Two, distraction from One; Izuku Fourth from the Third. Trailing Katsuki. Sparring with Katsuki. Katsuki, physically, reigniting the flames he'd thought he'd lost to their magics, the first he'd met in a sea of an unfamiliar new. And there, the better part of his first two years whittled trying to be close; to pull friendship from one whose interests centered entirely on another.
He doesn't mean to, but the kiss that follows isn't nearly as chaste as he wants it, as Shoto's trying to be.]
You're the first one that's looked at me-
[The boy-weapon outsider. He feels restless over how Katsuki looks at him, how no one's ever.
3 lives built-up when his fingers shake, and he peeks up brightly with a nameless feeling, tugging his shirt up.]
Like it mattered. [Then, as if he's said nothing-] Can I touch you...?
[His Katsuki. His own unique, special, irreplaceably in his timeline so full of others. He's never said it, wasn't allowed to say it when they'd stood at their arms-length before, but... the name slips out despite all the breath he's held. Softly, quietly.]
Katsuki?
no subject
It's honestly incredible how fast Katsuki's heart was beating when it barely beats at all to begin with. How burning hot his entire body felt when it had long gone cold. How suffocating every second was when he didn't even need to breathe anymore. He truly felt alive, more now than he'd felt in nearly a year, and it was an intoxicating feeling he feared he was going to get addicted to.
He can't guess what's behind those pretty eyes, or imagine the years Shoto's been without him. Without "his" Katsuki. Years spent pining for something closer but unable to find a way to connect until recent. He's... so grateful that all that waiting brought them to each other like this. That Shoto was able to open his heart up to him after redoing this friendship countless times. Things happen for a reason, and everything up until this point brought these two together like this.
Close enough to kiss each other with passion. Enough to pull each other's clothes. Enough to say first names without any fear and to tell each other sweet things while no one's looking. It all is nearly too much for the blonde who had to fight for any kind of affection back home. Who was shamed by his mother whenever he cried and was scared. Who easily followed hugs up with harsh hits, and who would scream the name "Katsuki" so frequently that the boy began to hate hearing it.
It's the opposite when Shoto says it, though. There's no recoiling, no disgust or fear attached when he hears his name. No anger at it being used to tease or bother him. All he feels is overwhelming love for the other boy when he's told that he's the only one who looks at Shoto this way. That he makes him feel like he really meant something to someone. And when the older, bigger boy asks if he can touch the blonde the first thing that comes to his mind is "Please."
Of course he can't be that desperate, though. So, with a shaky grin and a mischievous glint in his glowing eyes, the vampire eagerly gives the lich permission.]
Like you need to even ask. Dork.
[His tone is sweet despite the teasing, and he leans back just a little.]
Wanna lay down?
[A heartbeat skips just thinking about it...]