[Katsuki listens carefully as Shoto explains his feelings towards him. Holding his breath, afraid of missing even a single word, as if his own breathing would be too loud to hear over. It probably is a shock to learn that someone so confident with himself still has insecurities... but Katsuki is a person who is insecure at his base. The whole reason for years of bullying young Izuku was due to these insecurities. And they just shifted once he was finally happy with how his combat was going. Once he was no longer feeling behind his classmates, it shifted to being worried about his social skills. And lack thereof.
He's all too aware now that being nice and happy will bring more success as far as being a Hero goes. But he just can't bring himself to fake it when he's out with others. He knows he can be a kind person, but he doesn't identify with the word "kind". He identifies with "angry". "Violent". "Mean". Things that come more naturally to him, and make him feel strong.
Though, lately, with Shoto... it's a completely different story. More and more he shows his kinder side to the other boy, and feels comfortable doing so. Even more than with Izuku. He still argues and insults the green haired boy but he can't bring himself to make fun of Shoto in the same way. Sometimes the two argue, still, but he's more willing to let go of whatever he was mad about when it comes to the white and red haired boy.
Maybe, then, that means Katsuki could allow himself to be in love. Maybe.. he could be a good partner. No-- definitely. He could be a good one. The best one. If it was for Shoto.]
[The spiky haired boy listens quietly all the way until the end. Quiet as he tells him that he's Shoto's "Symbol of Strength". That Shoto felt proud of his heart choosing Katsuki. That he'd choose him every time. Katsuki is silent, but he has so many things that he wants to say. He felt so overwhelmed by Shoto's confession. So touched by the boy saying that he wants to spend the rest of his days with him. That he wants tomorrow, and the next day, all the way until the end of eternity-- god.
This was too much. And Katsuki's eyes threaten to water over with those crybaby tears he's never been able to outgrow. So when Shoto finishes speaking, Katsuki pulls himself away from the other boy and sits up. Slowly, facing away so he can wipe at his eyes with his one arm without Shoto seeing his tears.]
G-Goddammit... you're such an asshole. Saying all that s-sappy shit.
[Katsuki says that through grit teeth, as his tears spill over his cheeks and his heart burns through the cold ice. He's never had anyone say things like this to him before. His own parents barely ever tell him that they love him... he hated the word "love" so fiercely due to a lack of hearing it, yet here he was having it be told to him so point blank. So bluntly.
He knows he has to reciprocate and be just as blunt. So, after giving himself a moment to try and compose himself, he takes in a shaky breath and starts to explain.]
I... I never thought that I'd care about someone else this much. I didn't think I was capable of feeling anything even remotely close to... t-to "love".
[When Katsuki says "love" it sounds so foreign to him. Like he was trying out a new word in another language.]
But somehow, someway you brought that outta me. You showed me a side of myself that I never knew existed, and so much has changed. My goals are completely different. I used to only think about being a Hero but now?
I can't stop thinkin' about you.
[A cough starts to itch at Katsuki's throat, so he takes a pause to let it out into the crook of his elbow. Giving him a chance to think of how he wants to respond next. What to say. Katsuki has always been awful at speaking his true feelings, but with Shoto he found it to be a bit easier. He was kind of proud of what he's been able to say so far, and that pride gives him the courage to keep going.]
I-- I'm crazy about you. Whenever you're not around, I'm in a bad mood 'cuz I just sit there and think about how much I want you to be there with me. And I fucking hate it when people touch me, but I... I really like hugging you.
[Another fault of his upbringing... it's hard to enjoy or trust things like hugs when his mother would smack him even after something nice like a hug or she'd tell him to "man up" or insult him for crying over something she deemed "stupid". And when you go to someone for comfort and get insulted or hit instead, you start to learn to comfort yourself and flinch away from physical affection... but that's why it's such a big deal to him that he doesn't mind Shoto's hugs. That his body doesn't want to run away when it's the older boy touching him.]
You're the first person who's ever made me feel safe in their arms, and like I don't have to be on guard around you. You let me take a break from myself and I... I-I really need that.
[A break from the anger, the violence, the mean.]
I need you. And I want you. I want "us"... w-whatever the hell that means.
[Katsuki still can't look at Shoto even as he says this, his eyes bloodshot and wet and leaving him feeling all kinds of embarrassed. But there's also a part of him that feels so relieved and so happy to be saying these things out loud finally. To know that Shoto feels the same, and that there's no risk of a breakdown caused by rejection. And that they can now move forward together, and be "stronger" as Mike had put it months ago.
There's a lot of strength in love, and Shoto has shown Katsuki that.]
'n if we die from this stupid cold then at least we didn't die alone.
Edited (found a typo and then wanted to add some more flavour....) 2025-09-15 16:50 (UTC)
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He's all too aware now that being nice and happy will bring more success as far as being a Hero goes. But he just can't bring himself to fake it when he's out with others. He knows he can be a kind person, but he doesn't identify with the word "kind". He identifies with "angry". "Violent". "Mean". Things that come more naturally to him, and make him feel strong.
Though, lately, with Shoto... it's a completely different story. More and more he shows his kinder side to the other boy, and feels comfortable doing so. Even more than with Izuku. He still argues and insults the green haired boy but he can't bring himself to make fun of Shoto in the same way. Sometimes the two argue, still, but he's more willing to let go of whatever he was mad about when it comes to the white and red haired boy.
Maybe, then, that means Katsuki could allow himself to be in love. Maybe.. he could be a good partner. No-- definitely. He could be a good one. The best one. If it was for Shoto.]
[The spiky haired boy listens quietly all the way until the end. Quiet as he tells him that he's Shoto's "Symbol of Strength". That Shoto felt proud of his heart choosing Katsuki. That he'd choose him every time. Katsuki is silent, but he has so many things that he wants to say. He felt so overwhelmed by Shoto's confession. So touched by the boy saying that he wants to spend the rest of his days with him. That he wants tomorrow, and the next day, all the way until the end of eternity-- god.
This was too much. And Katsuki's eyes threaten to water over with those crybaby tears he's never been able to outgrow. So when Shoto finishes speaking, Katsuki pulls himself away from the other boy and sits up. Slowly, facing away so he can wipe at his eyes with his one arm without Shoto seeing his tears.]
G-Goddammit... you're such an asshole. Saying all that s-sappy shit.
[Katsuki says that through grit teeth, as his tears spill over his cheeks and his heart burns through the cold ice. He's never had anyone say things like this to him before. His own parents barely ever tell him that they love him... he hated the word "love" so fiercely due to a lack of hearing it, yet here he was having it be told to him so point blank. So bluntly.
He knows he has to reciprocate and be just as blunt. So, after giving himself a moment to try and compose himself, he takes in a shaky breath and starts to explain.]
I... I never thought that I'd care about someone else this much. I didn't think I was capable of feeling anything even remotely close to... t-to "love".
[When Katsuki says "love" it sounds so foreign to him. Like he was trying out a new word in another language.]
But somehow, someway you brought that outta me. You showed me a side of myself that I never knew existed, and so much has changed. My goals are completely different. I used to only think about being a Hero but now?
I can't stop thinkin' about you.
[A cough starts to itch at Katsuki's throat, so he takes a pause to let it out into the crook of his elbow. Giving him a chance to think of how he wants to respond next. What to say. Katsuki has always been awful at speaking his true feelings, but with Shoto he found it to be a bit easier. He was kind of proud of what he's been able to say so far, and that pride gives him the courage to keep going.]
I-- I'm crazy about you. Whenever you're not around, I'm in a bad mood 'cuz I just sit there and think about how much I want you to be there with me. And I fucking hate it when people touch me, but I... I really like hugging you.
[Another fault of his upbringing... it's hard to enjoy or trust things like hugs when his mother would smack him even after something nice like a hug or she'd tell him to "man up" or insult him for crying over something she deemed "stupid". And when you go to someone for comfort and get insulted or hit instead, you start to learn to comfort yourself and flinch away from physical affection... but that's why it's such a big deal to him that he doesn't mind Shoto's hugs. That his body doesn't want to run away when it's the older boy touching him.]
You're the first person who's ever made me feel safe in their arms, and like I don't have to be on guard around you. You let me take a break from myself and I... I-I really need that.
[A break from the anger, the violence, the mean.]
I need you. And I want you. I want "us"... w-whatever the hell that means.
[Katsuki still can't look at Shoto even as he says this, his eyes bloodshot and wet and leaving him feeling all kinds of embarrassed. But there's also a part of him that feels so relieved and so happy to be saying these things out loud finally. To know that Shoto feels the same, and that there's no risk of a breakdown caused by rejection. And that they can now move forward together, and be "stronger" as Mike had put it months ago.
There's a lot of strength in love, and Shoto has shown Katsuki that.]
'n if we die from this stupid cold then at least we didn't die alone.