[He has a lot of reasons why he didn't want to be asleep during the surgery, even though being awake was a living nightmare. The main one being: his heart. After an intense injury, his heartbeat is irregular and he didn't want to take any chances by being medically put to sleep. Call him paranoid, but he prefers being safe over sorry with these kinds of things.
But that reason is a downer, and he's sensitive about his heart still. So the reason he decides to tell Koro is:]
The doc who did it is kind of weird, and showed too much interest in my Quirk. I wanted to make sure he wasn't gonna do anything to me while I was out, so I chose to stay awake and I made Strawberries 'n Cream watch over the whole thing as extra security.
[That nickname is something that just tickles Katsuki okay--]
Doesn't sound surprising. I'm sure this place has its fair share of quirky people.
As long as you didn't suffer...I'm glad.
[As much as he is glad, ever since mentioning his own experiences with amputation...a look of unease has been formed on his face. As if remembering something that he's trying to forget about while talking.]
[Katsuki has noticed the look of unease, but.. honestly, he's not one to sniff his nose into other people's business. So for now, he doesn't ask about it. Instead, he tries to change the subject to something a little nicer... maybe.]
...what flavour of ice cream did you buy? You can't taste, so I bet you picked something shitty.
Hm? Oh, right! Better get on that before it melts.
Uh, I went with what the store clerk recommended. She said that teenage boys tend to like chocolate. But I did get vanilla as well, just in case. Whichever you don't eat you can have later if you want, or if you don't like it, I'm sure someone else in this house will.
[Koro pulls out the second cup. And also pulls out a bottle of mayonnaise.] Oh, that's ones not for you.
So you like either one? [Koro notices how he went for the vanilla first.] Good to know. Do you need help opening that? Or do you want to try doing it yourself? There's a wooden spoon underneath the lid, by the way.
Katsuki was going to try on his own honestly, but he's immediately thankful that Koro offers. Being someone who has a hard time asking for help himself.. it's easier when someone offers.
[Koro pulls off the lid and takes the spoon out to give to Bakugo. He then grips the cup and holds it out for him to eat from. Just setting it on the table might still prove to be difficult.
He doesn't mind, he can hold his arm out for a good while.]
If there's anything else you need help with while I'm here...let me know.
[Katsuki was about to take the cup and figure it out himself, but Koro ends up holding it out and it has the boy pause for a moment. He's.. never really had anyone do something like this for him before, and it's obvious he doesn't know how to react at first. Staring for a few seconds too long, before finally deciding to just dig in.
He was still feverish and overheating, so the ice cream was too good to pass up....]
...all of you have been so nice to me. I know it's not supposed to be surprising, considerin' my situation right now but... I want to pay everyone back, somehow.
[He'll think of something nice to do for Koro, Hijikata, Shoto, Mike, and everyone and anyone else who decides to check in on him during his recovery. He's not sure what but... something.]
[Katsuki was about to go for another scoop of ice cream, but Koro's line of questioning gets him to stop. He's pretty sure he remembers Koro mentioning that he was a demon before, with the whole "no taste" thing, but he didn't really get into the stuff he did in the past.
...which makes him immediately suspicious. Why is he bringing it up now...?]
....uh. I kinda thought your species were just called demons, not that you actually were one.
[Demons... they're bad people, aren't they? Katsuki looks a little like he doesn't want to eat any more of that ice cream...]
I can't believe Koro is giving him a history lesson
An immediate dread fills Koro. Wasn't Bakugo okay with demons? He seemed fine when Koro revealed it back then...what did he mean by this? Did he not think he was an actual demon? Is that why he took it so well?]
I...I mean...you're not wrong... technically. The word "demon" originated from the Greek word "daemon", which referred to spirits both benevolent and malevolent, but as the Catholic Crusades spread around Europe and forced their influence and condemned other beliefs, the word shifted to refer to strictly malevolent creatures.
We simply adapted the word to best communicate with humans. What we originally call ourselves is in a language that would drive you to insanity if you heard it.
[Koro was clearly nervous with how he was rambling about religious history. A pang of guilt struck him, and Koro grabs his chest, briefly gasping in pain before continuing.]
But...demons are demons. There's no other "species" that calls themselves that...not to my knowledge anyway.
[Katsuki knows a lot about the history of demons and religion, surprisingly. He's a very, very book smart boy for how stupid he acts all the time. But he's also patient and lets Koro explain, his expression a bit hard to read as he listens.]
There's a lot of different people from different universes, here. I didn't wanna assume the word "demon" meant the same for every single person.
[Because that would be silly to assume, he feels. Especially coming from a world where some people's Quirks can make them look like demons straight from the bible.]
Especially because you've been so nice.
[And now he's starting to second guess that niceness... though. Hijikata did seem to trust him. So he'll hear him out, at least.]
But now you're gonna tell me that you're not so nice, huh?
[Well. He's not screaming out in terror. Or screaming in anger about being betrayed. Even now Koro can remember the faces of those he met in his past lives that found out.
But Bakugo isn't. Is that...a good sign? Koro puts the ice cream down.]
I suppose you're right. Even other demons here are much different than me and my demons...which is saying something considering how different I am from them. My own brethren.
[The way Koro's eye glazed over when he says those last sentences speaks volumes. There's definitely a powerful meaning behind it.]
And well...it depends on who you ask. To some...I'm a malevolent abomination of hell that terrorizes and tempts innocent beings into sin. To others I'm a hot piece that's totally "metal".
And to some...I'm just some guy doing his job, what he was born to do. What he's expected to do for all eternity. Punish the wicked souls. Perform unspeakable tortures on them.
My brethren...they enjoy their jobs. I never did. It was just work. Started out indifferent. Then became bored. Then that boredome turned into...pain. anguish. I was feeling guilty. Empathy. It soon became unbearable and I escaped my hell.
[My hell. Two meanings there.]
I still don't know why I always felt that way. I just assumed I'm broken. Abnormal. You could probably call that nice. I don't really think I am, though.
[Katsuki continues to patiently listen, feeling... some kind of way as he hears his story. How he sounds like a very stereotypical demon that you'd hear about in media or from a bible-thumping mom online. Torturing those who deserve to be in Hell-- whatever "deserves" means. It's always subjective, and Katsuki never cared for religion because of it. His family was religious, but they barely practiced and he certainly didn't believe there was any "God" out there listening to millions of people pray each day.
Obviously, it's different in Koro's world. Or maybe all that stupid shit about Hell and Heaven were true. Either way, he's feeling.. confused. And conflicted. He has no idea why Koro is telling him about all of this, all of a sudden. Is he trying to convince him that he's a bad person?]
...okay. So you tortured people who went to Hell and felt guilty enough to quit.
[He's not sure how to respond to Koro's guilt, honestly. He's.. just a teen. Is he supposed to pat him on the back and reassure him that he did nothing wrong? He doesn't know him well enough, really... or what he did or if the people he hurt even actually "deserved" it.
Some people go to Hell just for being gay, apparently... he has no idea just how much was considered "sin" for real.]
I guess that would make you a good person, depending on who you ask. I think it also depends on what you did before you quit, and to who.
I mean... I can't imagine every single person who goes to Hell actually deserves it.
No, they deserve it. At least in my world. Everyone that dies...if they're absolutely pure of heart and have done good in their lives, they go straight to...I don't know. Heaven? Peace?
And those who who have committed a sin of some kind are sent to hell, where they go through a trial to determine their punishment, which can be as mild as being a servant for a week or...
Damn it. I got carried away. My point is...I loved for thousands of years, mostly in hell. And in those years...all I've done was watch and cause suffering. The day I first stepped foot on earth and witnessed human joy for the first time...it was so beautiful. Since then, I simply couldn't get enough of it. For the first time I felt like...I was fulfilling something I don't know.
This got...too deep for a teenager to think about. I didn't mean to ramble. I'm not sure what came over me. I'll talk a more about my past sometime later if you're ever curious.
All I'm saying is, the reason why I said all of this... is that bringing people joy makes me happy. That's all.
[He can sense the wariness in Bakugo. Damn it all, Koro is a fool, just blurting out too much information. Perhaps he's sick of bottling it up? Keeping it to himself? Desperately needing to share it with someone.
Koro quickly grabs onto his chest as guilt pain radiates through him again. He tries his best to hide it, though.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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At the question, Katsuki nods.]
I wasn't knocked out, no. But that was my choice.
[He has a lot of reasons why he didn't want to be asleep during the surgery, even though being awake was a living nightmare. The main one being: his heart. After an intense injury, his heartbeat is irregular and he didn't want to take any chances by being medically put to sleep. Call him paranoid, but he prefers being safe over sorry with these kinds of things.
But that reason is a downer, and he's sensitive about his heart still. So the reason he decides to tell Koro is:]
The doc who did it is kind of weird, and showed too much interest in my Quirk. I wanted to make sure he wasn't gonna do anything to me while I was out, so I chose to stay awake and I made Strawberries 'n Cream watch over the whole thing as extra security.
[That nickname is something that just tickles Katsuki okay--]
no subject
Doesn't sound surprising. I'm sure this place has its fair share of quirky people.
As long as you didn't suffer...I'm glad.
[As much as he is glad, ever since mentioning his own experiences with amputation...a look of unease has been formed on his face. As if remembering something that he's trying to forget about while talking.]
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...what flavour of ice cream did you buy? You can't taste, so I bet you picked something shitty.
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Uh, I went with what the store clerk recommended. She said that teenage boys tend to like chocolate. But I did get vanilla as well, just in case. Whichever you don't eat you can have later if you want, or if you don't like it, I'm sure someone else in this house will.
[Koro pulls out the second cup. And also pulls out a bottle of mayonnaise.] Oh, that's ones not for you.
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Like I'd want a bottle of mayo in the first place.
[He'll just assume it's groceries...]
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So you like either one? [Koro notices how he went for the vanilla first.] Good to know. Do you need help opening that? Or do you want to try doing it yourself? There's a wooden spoon underneath the lid, by the way.
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Katsuki was going to try on his own honestly, but he's immediately thankful that Koro offers. Being someone who has a hard time asking for help himself.. it's easier when someone offers.
He hands it out to him.]
I'd give it a try but I'm tired as hell.
no subject
[Koro pulls off the lid and takes the spoon out to give to Bakugo. He then grips the cup and holds it out for him to eat from. Just setting it on the table might still prove to be difficult.
He doesn't mind, he can hold his arm out for a good while.]
If there's anything else you need help with while I'm here...let me know.
no subject
He was still feverish and overheating, so the ice cream was too good to pass up....]
...all of you have been so nice to me. I know it's not supposed to be surprising, considerin' my situation right now but... I want to pay everyone back, somehow.
[He'll think of something nice to do for Koro, Hijikata, Shoto, Mike, and everyone and anyone else who decides to check in on him during his recovery. He's not sure what but... something.]
SLAMS THIS IN HERE
I just...like helping people, I guess.
[Koro watches Katsuki eat the ice cream with an odd fondness in his eyes.]
...You know I'm a demon, right? You can probably imagine what kind of things I did in the past.
[Koro wonders how humans in Katsuki's world view demons and their actions.]
OH BOY....
...which makes him immediately suspicious. Why is he bringing it up now...?]
....uh. I kinda thought your species were just called demons, not that you actually were one.
[Demons... they're bad people, aren't they? Katsuki looks a little like he doesn't want to eat any more of that ice cream...]
I can't believe Koro is giving him a history lesson
An immediate dread fills Koro. Wasn't Bakugo okay with demons? He seemed fine when Koro revealed it back then...what did he mean by this? Did he not think he was an actual demon? Is that why he took it so well?]
I...I mean...you're not wrong... technically. The word "demon" originated from the Greek word "daemon", which referred to spirits both benevolent and malevolent, but as the Catholic Crusades spread around Europe and forced their influence and condemned other beliefs, the word shifted to refer to strictly malevolent creatures.
We simply adapted the word to best communicate with humans. What we originally call ourselves is in a language that would drive you to insanity if you heard it.
[Koro was clearly nervous with how he was rambling about religious history. A pang of guilt struck him, and Koro grabs his chest, briefly gasping in pain before continuing.]
But...demons are demons. There's no other "species" that calls themselves that...not to my knowledge anyway.
no subject
There's a lot of different people from different universes, here. I didn't wanna assume the word "demon" meant the same for every single person.
[Because that would be silly to assume, he feels. Especially coming from a world where some people's Quirks can make them look like demons straight from the bible.]
Especially because you've been so nice.
[And now he's starting to second guess that niceness... though. Hijikata did seem to trust him. So he'll hear him out, at least.]
But now you're gonna tell me that you're not so nice, huh?
no subject
[Well. He's not screaming out in terror. Or screaming in anger about being betrayed. Even now Koro can remember the faces of those he met in his past lives that found out.
But Bakugo isn't. Is that...a good sign? Koro puts the ice cream down.]
I suppose you're right. Even other demons here are much different than me and my demons...which is saying something considering how different I am from them. My own brethren.
[The way Koro's eye glazed over when he says those last sentences speaks volumes. There's definitely a powerful meaning behind it.]
And well...it depends on who you ask. To some...I'm a malevolent abomination of hell that terrorizes and tempts innocent beings into sin. To others I'm a hot piece that's totally "metal".
And to some...I'm just some guy doing his job, what he was born to do. What he's expected to do for all eternity. Punish the wicked souls. Perform unspeakable tortures on them.
My brethren...they enjoy their jobs. I never did. It was just work. Started out indifferent. Then became bored. Then that boredome turned into...pain. anguish. I was feeling guilty. Empathy. It soon became unbearable and I escaped my hell.
[My hell. Two meanings there.]
I still don't know why I always felt that way. I just assumed I'm broken. Abnormal. You could probably call that nice. I don't really think I am, though.
no subject
Obviously, it's different in Koro's world. Or maybe all that stupid shit about Hell and Heaven were true. Either way, he's feeling.. confused. And conflicted. He has no idea why Koro is telling him about all of this, all of a sudden. Is he trying to convince him that he's a bad person?]
...okay. So you tortured people who went to Hell and felt guilty enough to quit.
[He's not sure how to respond to Koro's guilt, honestly. He's.. just a teen. Is he supposed to pat him on the back and reassure him that he did nothing wrong? He doesn't know him well enough, really... or what he did or if the people he hurt even actually "deserved" it.
Some people go to Hell just for being gay, apparently... he has no idea just how much was considered "sin" for real.]
I guess that would make you a good person, depending on who you ask. I think it also depends on what you did before you quit, and to who.
I mean... I can't imagine every single person who goes to Hell actually deserves it.
no subject
And those who who have committed a sin of some kind are sent to hell, where they go through a trial to determine their punishment, which can be as mild as being a servant for a week or...
Damn it. I got carried away. My point is...I loved for thousands of years, mostly in hell. And in those years...all I've done was watch and cause suffering. The day I first stepped foot on earth and witnessed human joy for the first time...it was so beautiful. Since then, I simply couldn't get enough of it. For the first time I felt like...I was fulfilling something I don't know.
This got...too deep for a teenager to think about. I didn't mean to ramble. I'm not sure what came over me. I'll talk a more about my past sometime later if you're ever curious.
All I'm saying is, the reason why I said all of this... is that bringing people joy makes me happy. That's all.
[He can sense the wariness in Bakugo. Damn it all, Koro is a fool, just blurting out too much information. Perhaps he's sick of bottling it up? Keeping it to himself? Desperately needing to share it with someone.
Koro quickly grabs onto his chest as guilt pain radiates through him again. He tries his best to hide it, though.]